A month ago on a routine dentist appointment, I got a cancer screening that came back positive. They assured me that it’s not a big deal and to come back in a few weeks to get it rechecked.
When I came back, I had it re-checked by a different doctor who said the screening still shows positive and I need to get a biopsy. Even worse, according to his notes they saw a lesion at my last screening 6 months ago but waved it off as normal.
So I go home with all these thoughts in my head.
1. I’m going to die.
2. If this is cancer, I’ve had it for at least 6 months. I’m going to die.
3. Oral cancer has a 5 year survival rate. I’m going to die.
You get the picture.
I came home just early enough to put my kids in bed and break down crying to my husband. He was great and did what any spouse should do – he held me and told me I was going to be ok.
But I wasn’t ok.
I would sit down to play a game and wonder why.
I would sit down to write and think why.
Everything was a “why am I doing this if I’m going to die”.
One week later I got the all clear. Not cancer.
But that week gave me the time to think about my priorities.
And even now, nothing has changed and everything has changed.
So I will take what I can from my week with cancer and I will make it matter.